Is There Life After Infidelity in Tennessee?

Is there life after infidelity in Tennessee’s Germantown?

When infidelity creeps into the Germantown TN marriage, some spouses run directly into the arms of a Tennessee divorce lawyer. But not every marriage ends because of one spouse’s cheating (or both, for that matter). For many couples, there is married life after infidelity.

Consequences of Cheating

It would be naive to assume that cheating on a spouse can be accomplished without consequences. The marriage may not end in legal separation or divorce, but the truth of what has occurred is not likely to be washed clean with a vehement confession and repentant promise that “I love you and I’ll never see him again.”

Regardless of how long the spouses have been married, cheating on a spouse can undermine conjugal trust, changing the nature of the union forever.

There are at least two components to rebuilding faith in the marriage. First, there is rebuilding the injured spouse’s trust, which has probably been decimated. And second, there is rebuilding the adulterer’s trust in the marriage and in his ability to remain faithful going forward. Overcoming infidelity really takes two.

What People Say About Cheating

Getting caught in an affair is certainly grounds for divorce in Tennessee, but many marriages do survive infidelity (at least the first instance) and may even become stronger.

The question “Is it possible to recover from infidelity?” was posed on Huffington Post with some interesting comments. Did you recently learn that your spouse has been cheating on you? Here are a few thoughts from others who have walked down the same path:

● The spouses may remain married, at least for a while. Many postpone divorce until their youngest child turns 18 so custody is not an issue. After that, all bets are off.

● A cheating spouse may be symptomatic of a dysfunctional marriage, a reason for reflection which may or may not end in separation or divorce.

● When the truth is known, the injured spouse may feel he needs to work all that much harder at making the marriage a success. In the meantime, the cheater works all that much harder at hiding her extramarital affairs, enjoying the best of both worlds.

● To begin repairing damage to conjugal trust, the adulterer must turn over a new leaf first. If there is absolute commitment to saving the marriage, then trust could be regained. It will not be easy and the marriage will never be the same, but the relationship can be repaired.

● Some believe that trust can never be recovered after an adulterous affair. What’s done is done, there is no going back.

● If the cheater was looking for love outside the marriage, because something was lacking inside the marriage, then why would either want a return to living a lie?

Of course, there’s always the spouse who appears to be in denial over the impact his cheating has on the marriage. “Everybody’s doin’ it, so what’s the problem?” The answer to that is equally simplistic: Three’s a crowd.

Moving On in a Positive Way

Once the extramarital affair is uncovered, it is important that both spouses give their best to move the relationship forward in a positive way. Even more so when they have minor children. (Retaliating with one-upmanship may be temporarily cathartic on some level, but it is not a positive response to a marital crisis.)

Many couples seek guidance from a pastor, priest, rabbi, or other spiritual leader in whom they have placed their trust. Spouses who meet with marriage counselors and therapists may also work through problems in an effort to reconstruct their relationship.

Before throwing up your hands in abject frustration, take a step back and consider the bigger picture. You do have a choice: you can put forth the effort to try and save your marriage, or you can turn away from your adulterous spouse and file for divorce.

When Cheating Leads to Tennessee Divorce

Memphis divorce attorney, Miles Mason, Sr., practices family law exclusively and is founder of the Miles Mason Family Law Group, PLC. Check out The Tennessee Divorce Client’s Handbook: What Every Divorcing Spouse Needs to Know, available on Amazon and Kindle. To schedule your confidential consultation, call us today at (901) 683-1850.