Millennials in Tennessee Divorce: Breaking Up in Your 30s

Born into the Millennial Generation (or if you prefer, Generation Y), many Tennessean’s are now in their thirties and considering divorce.

Millennials in Tennessee Divorce: Breaking Up in Your 30s

Millennials have been accused of being far more narcissistic, more ‘Me’ oriented, than their Gen-X and Baby Boomer predecessors. Maybe that describes some of the people you know, but when it comes to divorce, the best interests of the children should always come first. And if you are in your thirties, you probably have very young or school-age children. (Is your spouse a narcissist? Gain some insight by reading Divorcing the Narcissist.)

Divorce in Your 30s May Influence Your Social Network

Being married and raising a young family typically includes socializing with other couples in their 30s who are also raising children. With divorce, the people you routinely socialized with may not be eager to continue the friendship. After all, they befriended you and your spouse, along with your kids, as a team. With divorce pending, other people often feel they have to choose between you and your spouse (or neither). Some married friends may stop spending time with you. They may feel uncomfortable about the divorce, betrayed, or believe they no longer have anything in common with you as a single person. Following the divorce, you may no longer have the financial resources to maintain the lifestyle you enjoyed during the marriage. Instead of trying to appease fair weather friends, start looking for new ones.

Developing New Friendships

At thirty-something, there are ample opportunities to connect with like-minded people. Engage in activities that you enjoy and benefit from; you will meet others who share similar interests. Although it may be premature to start dating, eventually you will find a new special someone. At first, putting yourself out there can be a little intimidating (especially if you tend to be more introverted than extroverted). But you will immediately benefit from being around those who appreciate who you are now. You are moving on with your life and deserve respect for the decisions you have made for yourself and your children.

Transitional Stress from Married to Divorced Can Hurt Health

The transition from married to divorced is a stressful one and can actually hurt one’s health. Furthermore, the stress of divorce on younger couples could affect health more than when the break-up is later in life.

That’s according to Marital Dissolution and Self-Rated Health: Age Trajectories and Birth Cohort Variations, a study by Dr. Hui Liu, professor of sociology at Michigan State University (published in Social Science & Medicine, 28 Jan. 2012). Liu’s research involved 15 years of interview data from 1,282 men and women between the ages of 25 and 83. Liu made the connection between declining health and personal relationships.

First, individuals who divorced during the study experienced a greater health decline than those who stayed married to their spouses. Second, those who were older when they divorced tended to be less vulnerable to the detrimental health effects of the break-up. Individuals who were already divorced and did not remarry during the study period compared well with those who were married throughout the study period – there were no notable differences in health decline rates between the two groups. Thus, Liu determined that “it is not the status of being married or divorced… that affects health, but instead is the process of transitioning from marriage to divorce that is stressful and hurts health.”

Liu’s research also tells us that the divorce experience often has a negative impact on health and that younger divorcees – between the ages of 35 and 41 – are more vulnerable to the stresses associated with a break-down of the marriage.

Stay Fit Mentally, Physically, Spiritually

Getting through a divorce requires endurance. You need to be fit and stay fit to handle the challenges. The divorce process, along with the important decisions you must make, can be very draining. Do what you must to relieve stress and stay mentally, physically, and spiritually balanced.

Give yourself an escape valve to relieve pent-up frustrations and the buildup of stress that can diminish your health. Simply taking an hour-long walk every day can work wonders. Consider taking up the hobby you never had time for, the class you have always wanted to take, or join an activity group through your church or community center. Get through the divorce as a positive force, stay healthy, be okay with who you are, and move on with your life.

Check Out the TN Divorce Client’s Handbook

If you are thirty-something and dealing with divorce, get help from a Memphis divorce attorney. Miles Mason, Sr., practices family law exclusively and is founder of the Miles Mason Family Law Group, PLC. You might also want to check The Tennessee Divorce Client’s Handbook: What Every Divorcing Spouse Needs to Know, available on Amazon and Kindle. To schedule your confidential consultation, call us today at (901) 683-1850.