Divorce Lawyers Share Marriage Advice

Relationship advice from seven top divorce lawyers. Top divorce lawyers answer: “What’s Your Best Marriage Advice for Newlyweds?” What advice do you give a married couple? What is the secret to a happy marriage? Love lessons. Build a happy marriage and avoid divorce. Relationship advice.

Below, we have a list of the attorneys in the video, their respective cities, and their contact information.

Q: What Is Your Best Marriage Advice for Newlyweds?

Barry Gold:

My first advice would be to get some premarital counseling. That is not some suggestion or indication that I think they’re making a poor choice, or that they have some mental health issue to address. The reality of it is, you just don’t know what you don’t know as a married couple when you’re approaching it. This is going to be a little different if this is your fourth or fifth marriage, but to a couple initially getting married, getting premarital counseling can be enormously helpful. I definitely would recommend that.

Then the second part of that would be, have a longer engagement. So, if they are planning on getting married in the next few months, put it off another few months. The reason I say that is if you talk to people going through divorces, and of course that’s what you see as a divorce lawyer, you never hear people say, “Gee, I wish we’d gotten married sooner.” But you will frequently hear people say, “If we had just waited a little bit, we would have realized we should never have gotten married at all.” I’m suggesting to the prospective marrying couple, be the ones to wait a little bit. If it’s right, it’ll be right three months, six months, 12 months down the road. If it isn’t right, what a great time to find it out before you make the commitment.

Scott Friedman:

Best marriage advice for newlyweds is to have straight, direct communication about everything. I think that communication that is honest and direct, whether it’s hard to discuss or not, whether it’s simple or difficult issues, at least you’re putting it out there and at least you’re talking it through with your partner who you fell in love with and who you want to supposedly spend the rest of your life with. So, communication more than anything.

Steven Peskind:

I’m not going to take credit for this, because I didn’t say it, but the late, great Ruth Bader Ginsburg was told by her mother-in-law on her wedding to Martin Ginsburg, “Sometimes it helps to be a little deaf.” And what that advice really means is don’t take to heart everything that your spouse says. Don’t take it personally. Sometimes they’re having a bad day and sometimes you want to overlook things, and so it helps to be a little deaf. That would be the advice that I would give.

Randall Kessler:

I don’t think there’s good advice except don’t rush into it. And by rush, I mean I took a long time to get married. I didn’t get married until I was in my forties. Maybe I took too long. I don’t know. But some people say go to marital counseling, get therapy before you get married, maybe you need a prenup. There are a whole bunch of questions. Prenups are a whole other issue. Do you have money that you need to preserve? Were you already married and had a bad divorce, so you don’t want to go through that again? Maybe your prenuptial agreement is worth it, but the best advice I can give you is trusting your heart, and if you make a mistake, it’s probably worth it, right?

I mean, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved. I wouldn’t want somebody to not get married because of something I’ve said, if I say don’t get married if you see this sign or that sign. I’d rather you go through marriage and get a divorce. I’m not saying that because I make more money, but I’d rather you try it and see what life’s about than never take a chance on happiness. So, take a chance.

Joe Booth:

Best marriage advice that I have for newlyweds is to be accepting and understand that you marry someone not just because of all their gifts, but also because how their failures match with yours. And to recognize that everyone’s imperfect and that some space is needed, and that the best thing you can ever do for your partner is to help them achieve their dreams, and the worst thing you can ever do to your partner is to expect them to achieve yours.

Miles Mason, Sr.:

My best marriage advice for newlyweds was given to me by my godmother shortly after I got married some 31 plus years ago. She had two pieces of advice. Number one, just because you have an argument, even if it’s a heated fight, doesn’t mean you’re getting a divorce. So don’t think that. Second, very important, if you’re in a fight with your spouse, do not say the meanest thing you can think of. After living with somebody for enough time, you know their buttons. Don’t press them. No matter how mad you are, don’t press their buttons and don’t say the meanest thing you can think of.

Thank you for contributing your experience and expertise to our “Top Family Lawyers Answer Divorce Questions” video series.  You are the best. Cheers!

Randy Kessler
Atlanta, Georgia
Kessler & Solomiany, LLC
ABA Family Law Section, Past Chair

Melissa Avery
Indianapolis, Indiana
Broyles Kight & Ricafort, P.C., Of Counsel
ABA Family Law Section, Past Chair

Joseph W. Booth
Lenexa, Kansas
Law Offices of Joseph W. Booth
ABA Family Law Section, Co-Chair of Publications Board

Scott N. Friedman
Columbus, Ohio
Friedman & Mirman Co., L.P.A.
ABA Family Law Section, Past Chair

Stephen N. Peskind
St. Charles, Illinois
Peskind Law Firm, PC
ABA Family Law Section, Author

Barry L. Gold
Chattanooga, Tennessee
McWilliams, Gold & Larramore
TBA Family Law Section, Past Chair

Miles Mason, Sr.
Memphis, Tennessee
Miles Mason Family Law Group, PLC
ABA Family Law Section, Author