Joe Smith Back on WMC-TV | Co-Parenting Through Holidays

Joe Smith Back on WMC-TV discussing Co-Parenting Through Holidays on Bluff City Life with Gina Neely, Mon., Dec. 18, 2023.

Joe Smith shares tips for separated parents to get through the holidays with as little conflict as possible.

Co-parenting with the other parent may seem overwhelming for some parents, especially during the holidays. While parents need to accept that challenges will likely arise, there are some tips to help parents co-parent while ensuring that their children enjoy the holiday season.

Have a Detailed Schedule in Writing

Typically, parents will split up the winter break so that each parent has time with their children during the holidays. Most holiday schedules follow the children’s school calendar. For instance, the parent having the first part of the winter break will have the children from the time school is dismissed until Christmas day at noon, and the other parent will have the children from Christmas at noon until the evening before school resumes.

Regardless of what schedule parents agree to, it should be clear when parenting time begins and ends, and where pick/up and drop off will occur. If a parent has been before a judge concerning the custody of their child, they will have a court order or parenting plan that specifies those terms. Although a parenting plan or court order is preferable, having a schedule in writing may help reduce the likelihood of confusion about the schedule over the holidays.

Don’t be a Grinch

The holidays are supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” You should not let your feelings toward the other parent spoil the holiday season for your child. Be cooperative with the other parent. Be reasonable with the other parent. Treat the other parent as you would a business acquaintance by being professional and responsible in your interactions. If you are going to be late picking up or dropping off your child, notify the other parent in advance.

A parent’s ability and willingness to cooperate with the other for their child’s enjoyment of the holidays encourages a successful co-parenting relationship. Regardless of a parent’s feelings towards the other, it’s always important to remember that the child’s best interest is more important than a parent’s personal resentments and conflicts.

If a parent has safety concerns with facilitating parenting time with the other parent, then that parent should consult a lawyer, preferably well in advance of the child’s winter break.

Establish Communication Guidelines

Establishing communication guidelines can help minimize confusion and disagreements over the winter break. Parents should use a form of communication that works best for their co-parenting relationship. If parents communicate better via text or email as opposed to over the phone, then that should be encouraged. However, parents should be flexible with their communication preferences if an emergency arises.

Some parents have separation anxiety or are just curious as to how their child is doing with the other parent, especially if they are the primary custodian. To alleviate that anxiety, a parent can schedule time for the child to speak with the other parent at reasonable times and durations.

If traveling, sharing a detailed itinerary is helpful to keep the other parent informed on when and where the child will be over the holidays. The itinerary should, at minimum, include when and where the parent is staying, the mode of travel, flight information, and an emergency contact number.

Thank you Gina Neely and Aminah Ricard.