Tennessee Divorce Advice
- At April 30, 2015
- By Miles Mason
- In Divorce, Divorce Tips
- 2
In need of some free Tennessee divorce advice? Whenever questions arise about divorce in Tennessee, know where to get accurate information in a practical form that can be digested easily and quickly. Truthfully, most divorce clients start out with only a modest understanding of what is involved in obtaining a divorce. There is a learning curve. So before hiring a Tennessee family lawyer, take heed of a little divorce advice, “for the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them” – Aristotle.
In this discussion on Tennessee divorce advice, be mindful that this website with its Tennessee Family Law Blog offers general information about Tennessee divorce law, but is not specific legal advice. Because these articles are not tailored to any reader’s particular circumstances, always seek legal advice from an experienced Memphis, Tennessee, divorce lawyer.
Now, let us share a few pointers and offer a little guidance.
Advice About Where To Start Your Tennessee Divorce
Logically, preliminary inquiries usually involve questions about how to file for divorce in Tennessee or how to answer the other spouse’s complaint for divorce. Other than being single again after the marriage is dissolved, many spouses have no idea what to expect from divorce.
Perhaps the best Tennessee divorce advice is to know what is coming. How is it possible to anticipate what is ahead without having experienced a divorce before? Start by reading about the Tennessee Divorce Process: How Divorces Work Start to Finish. With a basic understanding of the court process, whatever the circumstances may be, a spouse can make the best of divorce and get the most from it. Don’t be a deer caught in the headlights – prepare, prepare, prepare.
Also consider obtaining The Tennessee Divorce Client’s Handbook: What Every Divorcing Spouse Needs to Know. To stay in control of the divorce as much as is possible, and not be controlled by it, a divorce education is almost essential.
Know Your Limitations and Get Help When You Need It
Here is one piece of Tennessee divorce advice that is too often overlooked: know your limitations. In negotiating a parenting agreement, for example, if the father’s employment situation prevents his picking the children up after school, then he should accept that as something he cannot change (at least not presently). He should offer an alternative that works for him and the children, such as driving the children to school in the morning or taking them to their extracurricular activities on the weekend.
Limitations can come in all forms. Some are educational, some are emotional, some are physical, and some are job-related as in the example above. Be realistic about what can and cannot be accomplished. (At the same time, don’t be held back by fear of the unknown. Talk to a lawyer about difficult situations.)
When in need of help or counseling, get it.
Deal with problems before they become bigger problems. Divorce counseling, couples counseling, and individual therapy sessions can all be very helpful in getting past the most difficult challenges in a divorce. Look for guidance from those who are knowledgeable about all aspects of divorce and its impact. (Visit our Memphis Tennessee Marriage & Divorce Counselors & Therapists Directory.)
Advice on Saving Money in Your Tennessee Divorce
Helpful Tennessee divorce advice includes how to manage the costs associated with divorce. This is no small matter. Divorce expenses include the cost of lawyer representation, Tennessee court fees, and expert witness fees. (Not to mention the expense of transitioning into a single lifestyle.) There are many ways a client can help keep his or her divorce costs from spiraling upward. One way is to approach each domestic matter as something to be negotiated and settled, instead of viewing each issue as a battle to be litigated. Litigation is expensive and is something to be avoided whenever possible.
How much could a divorce cost? How are attorneys fees calculated in most Tennessee divorces? Another good piece of Tennessee divorce advice is learn how to keep lawyer’s fees down by taking a look at Attorney’s Fees in Tennessee Divorce Law FAQs.
Tennessee Divorce Advice on Case Summaries
Reading case summaries is very helpful for many spouses. For example, the spouse who owned a home prior to the marriage would benefit from a discussion on how separate assets are commingled with or transmuted into marital property. Marital property must be divided in divorce. Summaries of actual Tennessee cases can be useful in following how Tennessee courts deal with specific facts and circumstances.
Although there is no guarantee that the outcome of one case will mirror another, prior decided cases can give spouses an idea of how facts are applied to the law. Look to the Family Law Blog and choose a category that is relevant, such as mediation, father’s rights, child custody, or alimony. Each category includes numerous real life case examples. There is no need to stay up into the wee hours reading all about other people’s divorce experiences, but do try to identify circumstances that parallel those at hand.
Consider these examples: If Sarah put aside her career goals to be the children’s primary caregiver and now she is the less-propertied spouse, then Sarah would benefit from researching the alimony and property issues women often face in divorce. In another example, Carl would benefit from researching the issues men frequently face in divorce, such as father’s rights under Tennessee law. Carl should read about parenting time mistakes dads often make and learn how to get the most from his parenting time.
Every parent should find out how much parenting time is feasible with a Tennessee parenting plan. A mother concerned about being financially independent after divorce should research rehabilitative alimony, so she knows what support could be awarded to assist her with boosting her earning ability.
Spouse’s with Children Need Tennessee Divorce Advice
To say that custody issues can be challenging is an understatement. Parental disagreements over decision-making custody, parenting time, and child support need never devolve into nastiness. To avoid unnecessary conflict, parents should know what Tennessee law expects and requires of them (for instance, what it means to make custody decisions in the children’s best interests). Child custody proceedings are easier to get through with the best possible results when both parents have a handle on the pertinent custody laws and the proceedings involved, such as custody mediation and forensic child custody evaluations. Here is another piece of valuable Tennessee divorce advice: parents should read about Tennessee Child Custody Laws | Answers to FAQs.
Why start with child custody FAQs?
Caring Tennessee parents ask the same questions and worry about the same things. Parents want the best possible relationship with their children. By becoming familiar with the legal terminology (for example, “alternative residential parent” and “permanent parenting plan”), parents will not struggle when discussing concerns with their lawyers. Truly, it does help to learn just a little legalese because, with Tennessee child custody law, each legal term has a specific meaning. Doing so can help a parent catch on more quickly to what his or her attorney is communicating, which often correlates to saved time and saved lawyer fees.
Implement a Tennessee Divorce Strategy
Communicating well with one’s attorney brings up another important piece of Tennessee divorce advice: formulate a divorce strategy. Every spouse should think carefully about what he or she wants (or clearly doesn’t want) from the divorce. Advance planning is essential for the best possible outcome. One of the first decisions most Tennessee spouses face is whether or not to keep the marital residence. Before deciding one way or the other, read Jeff Landers’ recent article on Four Questions to Consider Before Deciding to Keep Your Marital Home.
When developing a divorce strategy, begin by listing reasonable long-term and short-term goals. “I want to stay in the marital home,” for instance, and “I want the children to live with me most of the time.” Goal-setting should not take place in a vacuum. Get familiar with Tennessee divorce law. Formulate objectives based on what is both desirable and allowable by law. After some reflection on what would be a desirable outcome (or undesirable outcome), discuss those goals with a Tennessee divorce attorney so a divorce strategy can be implemented early on.
Also, get accustomed to the idea of what it means to have a divorce strategy. A party’s divorce strategy will influence that spouse’s position on every issue negotiated or litigated.
Consider These Divorce Strategies:
Use the Tennessee statutory factors as a road map.
Look carefully at Tennessee’s statutory factors for alimony, division of property, and child custody. The factors serve as a guideline of what the court must consider, as well as what the judge has discretion to consider. Use those factors to provide relevant evidence (good and bad) to the attorney on a point-by-point basis. An allegation that “My husband has been hiding assets from me,” for example, could be supported by evidence of valuable marital assets now missing from the home.
Step away from social media.
Stop posting on social media until after the divorce. Social media evidence is a part of most divorces today, so avoid offering up damaging evidence in an angry tweet or racy photograph. (For example, “My wife’s Facebook page has a picture of her intoxicated while she had the kids with her.”) Even after the divorce, social media evidence could be raised in a post-decree modification of child custody or child support, among other things.
Free Tennessee divorce advice from the wrong source is worthless. In fact, bad divorce advice can be really costly in the end. Find a good source of general divorce information, write down specific questions that are important to your case, and get those questions answered by an experienced Memphis, Tennessee, divorce attorney.