Extrapolating Empty Nest Syndrome from Tennessee Divorce Statistics

Understanding Empty Nest Syndrome from Tennessee Divorce Statistics

Can we extrapolate the impact of empty nest syndrome on Tennessee divorce statistics?  Tennessee parents often face two hurdles when they reach their 40s: empty nest syndrome and mid-life crisis. Although these “delicate conditions” are related, we’ll concentrate on the former’s influence in divorce. After the last child has moved out, gone off to college, or left for a new home in another town or state, the old homestead can seem like a warehouse with way too much empty space. The silence can be deafening! When the children are grown and living their lives somewhere else, parents often miss the absence of communication first. But they also see absence everywhere in the marital home. The missing furniture, the cleaned-out shelves, the little personal items that are gone for good.Parental lifestyles seemingly change from revolving around the children’s needs to not being needed. The completely emptied nest can expose underlying strife between the spouses that has gone unattended for years. Now it’s just the two of them with no distractions, no convenient avoidances, no shuttling the children here and there, no more regular get-togethers with other parents who are still raising young families.

When husbands and wives find themselves home alone, the sense of loss can be intense. Spouses may also find themselves squaring off to argue with increasing frequency. With no children around to serve as happy distractions, many couples do not like what they see.

When the Memphis Nest is Empty

Are you wondering if you or your spouse is actually suffering from empty nest syndrome? Look for symptoms similar to those of depression and grief:

• Sadness, loneliness, emptiness
• Sense of worthlessness, lack of purpose, failure
• Guilt, remorse
• Marked change in eating patterns
• Fatigue
• Anxiety, worry
• Poor concentration, indecision
• Notable change in sleep habits
• Disinterest in activities once enjoyed

Symptoms that we associate with empty nest syndrome, however, are not limited to depression and grief. Emptying the house can also result in heightened conflict or total disinterest with the other parent. One spouse may believe he or she has fulfilled the marital obligation to stay until the “kids are grown”; Tennessee divorce is the next step.

Divorce Rates in The South

Although there is no specific category for “divorce following empty nest syndrome,” the U.S. Census Bureau offers some telling statistics on divorce rates. The first being that the highest rates of divorce in the nation are in our region – The South (AL, AR, GA, KY, MS, OK, TN, TX, WV). Take a look at the August 2011 report on Marital Events of Americans (2009):

Divorce Rate per 1,000 Men and Women (Age 15 and Older)

With the 2009 U.S. divorce rate hovering at 9.2 for men and 9.7 for women, Tennessee’s divorce rates are much higher than the national rate. The nine states making up the southern region also have a higher divorce rate than the other three regions.

Men in the South = 10.2             Women in the South = 11.1

Compare that to:

Men in the Northeast = 7.2            Women in the Northeast = 7.5

Men in the Midwest = 9.1              Women in the Midwest = 9.2

Men in the West = 9.2                  Women in the West = 9.8

Men in Tennessee = 11.4             Women in Tennessee = 11.6

Compare that to:

Men in New Jersey = 6.1              Women in New Jersey = 6.0

Men in Wisconsin = 8.3               Women in Wisconsin = 7.5

Men in California = 8.0                Women in California = 8.9

Influence of Empty Nest Syndrome on Tennessee Divorce Rate

There’s no way to determine with certainty how the empty nest syndrome affects our Tennessee divorce rate. What we do know is that children are often the focus of a family, acting as a kind of buffer to their parents’ problems. But when the children have moved on with their lives, the buffer is removed, too. Parents are often left with a single new focus, each other. And that can sometimes lead to hiring a divorce lawyer.

Contact a Memphis TN Family Lawyer

Memphis divorce attorney Miles Mason, Sr., practices family law exclusively and is the founding attorney of the Miles Mason Family Law Group, PLC. If you are contemplating an end to your marriage, check out The Tennessee Divorce Client’s Handbook: What Every Divorcing Spouse Needs to Know available on Amazon and Kindle. To schedule your confidential consultation, call us today at (901) 683-1850.