Are You Divorcing the Nice Guy in Memphis, Tennessee Family Court?

Are you divorcing the nice guy in Memphis TN family court?

If your Memphis, Tennessee, family court case involves divorcing the nice guy, you are not alone. Plenty of women decide to end their marriages even though their spouses never did anything to screw things up.

Nice Guys Don’t Always Finish Last

Remember Baseball Hall of Fame player and manager Leo “The Lip” Durocher’s famous autobiography Nice Guys Finish Last?  Well, Durocher’s humorous title has proven over the years to have application beyond the realm of fans and Major League Baseball. In an odd way, it happens that the very opposite may often be true in divorce. Nice guys don’t always finish last when the marriage is over.

When a marriage dissolves with no appreciable fault by either spouse, many women find themselves in a deep struggle of conscience. A struggle with their sense of right, wrong, and justice. Some wives find themselves shouldering the burden of an inconvenient truth: the knowledge that they are preparing to file for divorce from a pretty nice guy. How the woman allows guilt to influence her decision-making during family court proceedings may have a substantial effect on the outcome of the divorce.

Assuaging the Guilt of Divorcing a Good Man

Not all divorces involve bad conduct, extramarital affairs, or some combination of internet-sex-porn-gambling-drug-alcohol-gaming addictions. Make no mistake, a good man can still be a lousy husband. But every once in a while, a woman wants out of the marriage even though her husband is not a bad person, is a hard worker, has been supportive over the years, has been a responsible and caring parent, and did not do anything wrong.

The burden that women may carry, the ones who decide to throw the nice guys back to the pond, may position themselves to be at the losing end of many divorce issues:

• She may decide that he should get the marital home, because she could never forgive herself for ending the marriage and throwing him out on the street.
• She may agree to accept responsibility for more marital debt than she can realistically manage on her income alone. She may decide that it would be unfair of her to seek alimony, or may limit herself to a smaller sum for a shorter period so as to even the score a bit (at her expense).
• She may relinquish parenting time or primary residential custody in a misguided attempt to make things right with her former spouse. A mother may let her guilt cast a cloud over her relationship with the children. She may take full responsibility for destroying the family by dumping her children’s beloved father.
• She may even decide that, as punishment for leaving him, she doesn’t want anything in the divorce at all. She’ll just walk and he can have everything.

With those examples, nice guys definitely don’t finish last when the woman wants a divorce.

Planning Your Tennessee Divorce

The division of assets and debts in a divorce. Arranging custody in the best interests of the children. Determining the type and amount of child support and alimony needed. These are crucial decisions, ones that should be approached with your mind fully engaged with the task at hand.

Put heightened emotions aside. If that proves too difficult because the sense of guilt is overpowering, then consider meeting with a divorce counselor who can teach you coping mechanisms to improve decision-making under stress. Listen to your lawyer as the voice of reason. And lastly, don’t feel guilty for wanting a different life for yourself than the one you have.

The Miles Mason Family Law Group handles Tennessee divorce, child support, alimony, child custody, and parent relocation. Download our free e-Book, Your First Steps: 7 Steps Planning Your Tennessee Divorce. A Memphis divorce lawyer from the Miles Mason Family Law Group can help. To schedule your confidential consultation, call us today at (901) 683-1850.