What You Need to Know about Domestic Abuse to Protect Your Family

What You Need to Know about Domestic Abuse to Protect You and Your Family

If you’ve been a victim of domestic abuse in Tennessee, the most important things to know are:

• It’s not OK.
• It’s not your fault.
• You’re not alone.
• You can get help.

At the end of this article is a list of organizations that can help you break the cycle of abuse.

Physical abuse can include hitting, pushing, scratching, choking, and raping.

Emotional abuse can include threatening, verbal abuse, and isolation from family and friends.

In the past, spousal abuse was accepted in many cultures – and wife-beating was even allowed by law.

But that’s changed.  Domestic violence is now a crime in the US.

Domestic abuse is not “normal” and it’s not “natural.”

Although domestic abuse isn’t “caused” by alcohol or drug abuse, 55% of domestic abuse victims believe that their partner was drinking before a physical assault, and some abusers use alcohol as an excuse.  Alcohol can increase a drinker’s sense of personal power and domination, increasing the risk of abuse.

Domestic abuse represents an attempt to control another person;  it’s not just about losing control of one’s temper.

Abusers often use the “faults” of the abused person as an excuse for the abuse, telling them that they “deserve” to suffer, or that they’re being “punished.”

Don’t believe this.

According to the Tennessee District Attorneys General Conference, you have a right to:

• Be Heard
• Say no and not feel guilty
• Make mistakes
• Ask for what you want
• Be alone
• Ask for information
• Make decisions about yourself
• Feel and express anger
• Be treated with respect and dignity
• Experience and express your feelings
• Change your mind
• Feel good about yourself
• Do less than you are humanly capable of doing
• Enjoy yourself
• Define and live by your own standards

If you’ve been hurt, you can call the police by dialing 9-1-1.  They can arrest the abuser even if they didn’t see the abuse happen, as long as they have reasonable cause to believe that the abuser did hurt you and may do it again.

If the police come to your home in response to a domestic abuse complaint, they should always do the following things:

• Offer to take you to get an arrest warrant and to help you try to get one.
• Offer to take you to a shelter or somewhere else safe
• Tell you about your legal rights and services that might help you.

If you or a family member have been a victim of domestic abuse, or if you fear that you could become a victim, here are some places to get help:

Tennessee Organizations:

• TN Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence: 615-386-9406
• Prevent Child Abuse TN: 615-383-0994
• Task Force Against Domestic Violence: 800-289-9018
• Domestic Violence Coordinating Council: 615-386-9406
• Adult Protective Services: 888-277-8366
• Child Support Enforcement: 615-313-4880
• Tennessee Justice Center: 615-255-0331

Memphis Organizations:

• Salvation Army (Shelter):  901-543-8586
• TN Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence (Memphis): 800-799-7233, or 800-356-6767
• YWCA Abused Women Services: 901-725-4277
• Memphis Family Shelter: 901-278-2728
• The Exchange Club Family Center: 901-276-2200
• CAAP Domestic Violence Programs (Memphis): 901-272-2221

Nashville Organizations:

• YWCA: (24-hour hotline) 615-242-1199, or 800-334-4628
• Madison Shelter and DV Program: 860-0003
• Lebanon Shelter (Wilson Co. Home Safe): 444-8955
• Domestic Violence Intervention Center (formerly PEACE): 255-0711
• TeenPEACE: 255-0711, ext. 110
• Oasis Center (Shelter): 615-327-4455
• Bridges of Williamson County (Shelter): 615-599-5777
• Morning Star Sanctuary (Shelter): 615-860-0003
• TN Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence: 615-386-9406
• Wynn Consulting:  615-360-3994
• Prevent Child Abuse TN: 615-383-0994
• The DV Division of the Metro Nashville Police Department: 615-880-3000

Murfreesboro Organizations:

• Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault Program: 615-896-2012
• SAVE: Service and Violence Education: 615-563-6690

To learn more, view Domestic Violence & Tennessee Divorce Law | Get Safe Now and Escape Plan: Tips for Victims Leaving Domestic Violence.

Miles Mason, Sr. practices family law exclusively and is founder of the Miles Mason Family Law Group, PLC, in Memphis, Tennessee. To learn more about him see Miles Mason, Sr.’s professional biography.