The Solo Act: Divorce Recovery After Your Tennessee Divorce

Divorce recovery following your Tennessee divorce.

Divorce recovery following Tennessee divorce

The Solo Act: Divorce Recovery After Your Tennessee Divorce

Unfortunately you know that the effects of a divorce don’t end when the decree is signed. While divorce is a legal process that helps you sort through your financial affairs with your former spouse, it is also a formal acknowledgement the end of a relationship. We all breathe a sigh of relief when the court process is over and you may even be thankful that you don’t have to speak to your attorney on a regular basis but there often is still hard work to be done.

Legal Recovery

It is likely that after a divorce your personal legal and economic situation has changed drastically from what it was when you were married. When you have the time and energy there are several things you can change and address to make sure the legal loose ends are tied up and you are ready to move forward in your new chapter.

The first thing is to make sure you have a complete copy of your divorce decree, that little piece of paper will come in handy over the next several months!

1.      Change your name: If you are a woman and you have changed your name to your maiden name, you need to inform the Social Security Administration. Once you receive your updated Social Security card you should be able to change your name with the Department of Motor Vehicles and then with your financial institutions such as banks, credit cards, vehicle loans, utilities and the like.  For more information, go the Social Security Administration web page for divorced women.

2.      Change Beneficiaries: If you have a Will or a Trust, a life insurance policy or other financial investments where your former spouse was a beneficiary, you will need to designate a new beneficiary for each of those items. A parent, sibling or close friend is often a good choice.

3.      Wills: You may want to hire an attorney draft a living will and designate an individual to make medical decisions for you in the unlikely even you become incapacitated. Also at this time, if you do not have a Will it is important that you create one to ensure your assets are divided according to your wishes and your children are cared for by the right people.

4.      Important Legal Documents: Make sure a trusted friend or family member knows where you store your important legal documents like your social security card, banking account information and Will in case something happens.

Don’t worry if this seems like a long list, adjusting to life alone will take some time but you have gotten through the hard part and now it is just time to make sure all of the loose ends are tied up!

Personal Recovery

Unfortunately recovering from a divorce emotionally doesn’t come with a tried and true check list. But you now have the opportunity to really spend some time on yourself and your children. Some people find it helpful to start or continue to see a therapist after a divorce. Working on why the relationship failed and how to have more successful romantic relationships in the future can be very helpful for some people. Your children may benefit from having someone to talk to who isn’t affected by the divorce. It is important to remember that this is a time of transition for them too and a neutral person may have them navigate the changes in their lives and routines. Therapy may also be an opportunity to connect with and heal with your children.

Many people also pursue forgotten interests or new hobbies to occupy their time and meet people outside of their current social circle. Defining yourself as an individual and not as half of a former couple can be very helpful for moving on and finding more joy in life. Hobbies don’t have to be expensive or time-consuming. You can take a class at Southwest Tennessee Community College or at a local adult continuing education program. You may find a love for a particular subject that leads to more diverse personal interests or maybe even a new career! You can volunteer with an organization whose mission lifts your spirits. Helping those who are less fortunate often helps us gain perspective on our situations.

You now have the time and energy to reconnect with friends and family. Show the people who supported you through your difficult time that you appreciate their love and support. Remind yourself that “family” is not just the nuclear husband and wife picture! Reach out to your local church or spiritual group. Surrounding yourself with people who share your beliefs on the world is often very reassuring in a time when so much change has occurred.

Above all else remember that this is your life and that the end of one chapter is just the beginning of a new one. Enjoy it!

MemphisDivorce.com has a great deal more information about life after divorce.  See its After Divorce section and its Tennessee Family Law Blog category After Divorce.