Internet Love: Online Dating May Result in Fewer Tennessee Divorces

Although online dating and internet love can lead to Tennessee divorce, a few statistics are still surprising. So many Tennesseans are using online dating services today. It may be difficult for some to imagine (or recollect) what previous generations did to meet, mingle, and become engaged to marry. Mystery and intrigue are far from absent. But romance has a different character online than it did in pre-internet America. In this article we explore the pros and cons of developing online romantic relationships. An ever-growing percentage of which will lead to marriage and, possibly, end with divorce in Tennessee.

Internet Love: Online dating may result in fewer Tennessee divorces

Are Online Dating Websites Here to Stay?

Remarkably, Match.com has been around for almost 20 years! Launched in 1995, the online-dating giant began as a free service. Then, after building its user database, went to a pay-for-membership model. The company was acquired by InterActiveCorp (IAC) in 1998 with the operation moved to Dallas TX. The rest, as they say, is online dating history. Few would argue that Match.com has been anything but enormously successful, but it is far from the only internet “meet market” in town.

Online unmoderated matchmaking, as cyber-dating websites are sometimes known, is now a worldwide phenomenon. Made ubiquitous by the iOS and Android hand-held mobile devices that make casual and intimate conversation anywhere and everywhere a breeze.

Has Online Matchmaking Reached Its Zenith?

If recent statistics are a reliable indicator, then the answer to the question of whether online matchmaking has already peaked is a resounding “No.” Online matchmaking websites remain a novelty in many countries and among many demographic groups here in the U.S. The trend here and elsewhere indicates continued growth in this extremely social cyber-environment. Online dating is about to become mainstream, if it is not already.

Whatever criticisms were lodged when Match.com first appeared on the internet, as a high tech culture we have embraced this new dating paradigm. If you were to ask someone under the age of 30 about his or her thoughts regarding online dating, you will likely get an affable response. Meeting someone online is really “no big deal”; it is what happens thereafter that is truly important.

Most of us are familiar with Google’s endless manipulation of algorithms to influence search engine results. Through proprietary algorithms, matchmaker websites connect people (provide search results) with specified interests, needs, and desires. Whether it be a single mother of three looking for a like-minded, dependable, and employed husband. Or a silver-haired retiree seeking romance with a younger woman. With so many potential mates to choose from, there has to be a perfect match somewhere. Right?

Who Uses Online Dating?

Here are a few statistics to consider regarding the ever-increasing volume of online dating service users. Starting with California’s attorney general’s statement that in 2011:

“40 million Americans used an online dating service and spent more than $1 billion on online dating memberships. Of couples married in the last three years, one in six met through an online dating service and one in five people have dated someone they met through an online dating services.”  AG Kamala D. Harris Announces Agreement to Strengthen Consumer Protections for Users of Online Dating Websites, March 20, 2012.

Match.com – which Bloomberg Business Week reports now operates in “the Americas, Asia, Africa, and Pacific” – had 5,745,815 monthly unique visitors in June 2014. By an ever-narrowing margin, the matchmaker claims to be the “world’s largest online dating site.” Competitors are rapidly gaining steam, though. OkCupid, PlentyofFish, Zoosk, and eHarmony are steadily gaining ground. Wikipedia reports that:

● OkCupid (also owned by IAC) had 5,401,172 unique visitors in June 2014;

● PlentyofFish (POF) had 5,065,837 unique visitors in June 2014;

● Zoosk, where visitors “browse local singles profiles, flirt online and chat with people” they would like to meet, had 2,196,305 unique visitors in June 2014. Zoosk was formed in 2007, is headquartered in San Francisco CA, and serves the dating quests of individuals on a global scale. As of April 2014, Zoosk is on track with an IPO. Over 27 million members are using its iOS and Android dating apps. Additionally, 70% of Zoosk users are younger than age 35 with its target age group being 25- to 35-year-olds.

● eHarmony is based in Santa Monica CA and operates in the U.S., U.K., Australia, and Canada. eHarmony reportedly had 1,294,855 unique visitors in June 2014.

Divorce attorney Miles Mason interviewed on WMC-TV Action News 5

For dating online, there is a strong possibility that one of the above matchmaking services will be utilized.

Internet dating is not limited to those searching for a potential spouse. The cheater site AshleyMadison.com (“Life is Short. Have an Affair.”) claims it has more Collierville registered users than it does in other Shelby County communities. Divorce attorney Miles Mason, Sr., was recently interviewed by Jason Miles for WMC-TV Action News 5 on the least faithful communities in Memphis (also available on YouTube).

Chasing Tennessee Demographics for a Hot Date

What we start to see with eHarmony is a shift from matchmaking as happenstance (with algorithmic assistance) to a model of pure demographic targeting. eHarmony, for instance, has compartmentalized its website to serve each of the following groups:  Asian, Black, Christian, Senior, Jewish, Hispanic, Arab, and everybody else.

That approach – of dividing the population demographically – is nothing novel in advertising. The same model has also proven successful for Spark Networks, and will likely be the trend for some time to come. Dividing and subdividing consumers based upon their express and implicit preferences, ethnicity, education, religion, race, and so on. All neatly stored in massive data banks. (That would be one of the creepier aspects of internet matchmaking.)

There’s Gold in Them Thar Hills!

Spark Networks out of Beverly Hills CA and Israel is a public company trading stock on the NYSE under the ticker symbol “LOV.” Cute. InterActiveCorp is also publicly traded on the NASDAQ under “IAC.” Online dating is big business.

Internet matchmaking for the young at heart

Spark Networks has sliced and diced American consumers into demographic clusters using “niche-focused brands that build and strengthen the communities they serve.” Why? To target-market intensively. Spark Networks provides matchmaking services through an expansive portfolio:

• ChristianMingle
• JDate (for Jews)
• LDSSingles (for Mormons)
• BlackSingles
• SilverSingles
• LDSMIngle
• CatholicMingle
• AdventistSingles (for Seventh Day Adventists)
• DeafSingles
• MilitarySingles

Clearly, people like to remain within their established communities when searching for a mate. People of many backgrounds and beliefs, including those searching for love in Tennessee, are or will use a dating website.

Online Dating Has Traveled Far in a Short Time

These matchmaking services have not been around for that many years (traditional dating has been around far longer). But their use has exploded. Badoo, Zoosk, DateHookup, whatever, the visitors they engage are no longer perceived as desperate singles. Why not use cutting edge technology to find the perfect man or woman?

Famous People Meet Online, Too

Even celebrities and the rich have dating websites. MillionaireMatch is the “original and largest millionaire dating site.” (Frankly, it is a little surprising that millionaires require assistance finding a date, but they have special needs, too.) Where else can you meet real millionaires and “other successful, attractive, and available singles”? For the rich and powerful there is also Sugardaddie, True, and others.

Ask actor Matthew Perry (Friends), he is reported to have a MillionaireMatch love account. Actress Deborah Ann Woll (True Blood) used Match.com. Patti Stranger (The Millionaire Matchmaker) used PlentyofFish. Carrie Ann Inaba (Dancing with the Stars) used eHarmony. Martha Stewart had this to say about her Match.com account:  “I’ve always been a big believer that technology, if used well, can enhance one’s life. So here I am, looking to enhance my dating life.” SilverSingles might be an appropriate option for her. If celebrities meet online, why can’t the rest of us?

Are Divorce Rates Higher or Lower with Online Matches?

With one-third of U.S. couples meeting online, resulting marriages could have a better chance of long-term success because of the advance screening that goes into selecting a compatible partner. At least, that is according to a study by Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences – Marital Satisfaction and Break-Ups Differ Across On-Line and Off-Line Meeting Venues (2013). John Cacioppo, Director of the Social Psychology Program at the University of Chicago, led the research.

Approximately 1/3 of U.S. couples meet online

Online dating could be responsible for “altering the dynamics and outcomes of marriage itself.” Among the 19,131 individuals who were surveyed in a nationally representative sampling, all tied the knot between 2005 and 2012 (65% met offline, 35% met online). The study did not conclude that online marriages will last longer or be happier, but did show a significantly lower incidence of separation or divorce among those who met online. There’s more:

● 7.67% of marriage break-ups occurred among couples who met offline (traditional dating); only 5.96% of marriage break-ups occurred among couples who met online.

● Those who met offline were slightly less satisfied with their marriages (5.48 on a satisfaction scale) than those who met online (5.64).

● Over 45% of those who met online did so by visiting a dating website such as eHarmony, which commissioned the study.

● Those couples who met online used eHarmony (25.04%), Match.com (24.34%), Yahoo (7.21%), POF (5.71%), Small Sites (24.74%), and Other (13.09%).

● Online daters tend to be a little older, the majority being 30-39 years of age.

● Online daters also tend to be college-educated and employed with higher incomes.

No matter who you are, where you live, or what you want out of life, a potential mate is out there waiting to be found. But friendly faces are not the only ones lurking in cyberspace hoping for greater intimacy.

Predators, Cons, and Bad Dates

The majority of people do lie on their dating profiles. That fib may be about weight or height, but the fact is dating profiles are often a work of contemporary fiction. How many times has the first face-to-face meeting started with, “You don’t look anything like your picture”? Associate Professor of communications at the University of Kansas, Jeffrey A. Hall, believes about 80% of profiles probably contain lies, albeit mostly harmless exaggerations.

Do you really know the person you met online? Do you know any more than what that person has told you is true about themselves? Untruths can lead to embarrassingly bad dating experiences. But there are also predators who create profiles designed to entice potential victims into falling for a scam, or worse. A match made in cyberspace can quickly turn into a hellish nightmare of fraud, theft, assault, even murder.

Bigamy Fraud:

A woman marries the true love she met online, her soul mate. Or so she thought at the time. As it turns out, perhaps after the birth of a child, he already has a wife and family. Bigamy is grounds for annulment in Tennessee. Because the marriage is void from the beginning, a divorce is not possible as there is no legal marriage to dissolve. To learn more about Tennessee annulment, take a moment to read:

What Are the Requirements for Annulment in Tennessee?

Attempted Murder:

There have been many instances of online dating experiences ending violently with rape, assault, attempted homicide, and murder. The major online dating websites are now doing more to check criminal backgrounds of members. That initiative did not help Ms. Beckman, however, who was beaten and stabbed multiple times a few months after she ended a relationship with her Match.com hook-up, Mr. Ridley. Beckman sued Match.com for about $10 million in damages. Ridley died in prison serving a 70-year sentence for his crime. In her civil complaint, Beckman claimed Match.com failed to warn her of the risks involved in dating another member who could be a sociopath. That Match.com should have warned her that she could be meeting “an individual whose intentions are not to find a mate, but to find victims to kill or rape.” In Tennessee, conviction and imprisonment for a felony crime is grounds for divorce.

Adultery is grounds for divorce in Tennessee

Adultery Problem:

Many potential romantic partners claiming to be single are, in reality, quite married. Some may be separated, some may have a divorce pending, but many are using online dating to add sex and excitement to their lives. Adultery is grounds for divorce in Tennessee. And in seeking to prove adultery, it is probable that the online service will be ordered to disclose relevant member profile and communications data on the discovery request of the other spouse’s attorney. Don’t think that is serious? Then read how the Divorce Attorney Highlights Social Media and Divorce Case Statistics.

Pros and Cons of Online Dating

Here are few pros and cons to consider before completing an online profile.

1. Pro:  A much larger pool of eligible mates are available. And you never have to leave the safety and comfort of home to meet people until you are ready.

Con:  Most people lie in their profiles. Some are sociopaths, have criminal records, are married, are con artists, and can be violent.

2. Pro:  You meet all kinds of people, from all over the world. How interesting, exotic, and exciting.

Con:  Online dating sites attract predators from all over the world. Need we mention the Nigerian-Western Union scam? By gaining your trust, the con persuades you to help or invest with your hard-earned money, only to disappear into the cyber-mist with the cash and, perhaps, your identity as well.

3. Pro:  Fill out questionnaires and let the algorithm find the best matches. How easy!

Con:  By answering lengthy questions about yourself and your preferences, you are surrendering personal information. Consider where this data is stored and how it is utilized. User information is typically sold to marketers and advertisers. Importantly, the dating service can be ordered to release personal information in a Tennessee divorce or child custody proceeding. What you disclosed on eHarmony could be used against you in court.

4. Pro:  We get to know each other before deciding to date.

Con:  You may be vulnerable if the other member uses your profile – a collection of express and implicit weaknesses, strengths, and desires – against you. In many instances, the victim provided the ammunition to the perpetrator in the dating profile and subsequent emails, text messages, phone calls, and letters.

Your “romantic partner” may not have any interest in true love. Before you make the plunge into online dating, read about The Perils and Pitfalls of Online Dating: How to Protect Yourself.